How to Avoid Mommy Myths that Leave You Frustrated
So often we buy into the hype and fall for myths about motherhood that can make us feel trapped or stuck. It doesn’t have to be that way. Here are four common myths that can lead us into frustration, yelling, and mom-guilt. When we learn how to counter or avoid them, we become happier moms with kids who listen and behave better.
Myth #1: Overwhelm just comes with the territory! It’s unavoidable!
Sure, being a mom is filled with challenges, and you need to become a master multitasker, kisser of boo-boos, chef, referee, psychoanalyst and all that jazz! But you don’t need to feel overwhelmed. First, you can avoid overwhelm by implementing simple strategies to reclaim your cool and avoid yelling. My coaching clients also learn more in-depth techniques and practices, but these quick fixes help you chill in the moment as you learn and implement other longer term strategies.
Myth #2: Parenting is about following specific methods that produce specific results.
Don’t fall for this and feel bad that your child isn’t “normal” or that you’re not a good parent. I discovered this myth early on, when I read ALL kinds of parenting books that promised perfect results if only I would do this or that; my child was guaranteed to respond appropriately. Small problem: my child hadn’t the book!!! And he simply did not and could not respond the way that these methods promised. He was his own person!
And you know what? Your kids are unique, too! You are unique, and the relationship you have with your kids is anything but cookie cutter! It’s special! The simple steps I teach my clients are NOT based on cookie cutter methods; they respect the unique and special nature of each mom-child relationship and can be used successfully by any mom and family.
Myth #3: If I don’t yell, my kids won’t listen!
I think we’ve all been there. We tell our kids to do something. No response. We repeat it. Still no response. WE REPEAT IT LOUDLY! Maybe they look up. DO IT NOW ….OR ELSE!!!!! Suddenly, we’re on the brink of losing it! Our frustration has built up and BAM!!! We blow!
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Tune in to your kids, and you’re on your way to unlocking effective communication! Engage with them on a regular basis, not just when you’re telling them what to do. Use words wisely. There is tremendous power in our words. If you catch yourself saying something that tears down, catch yourself and instead use words that build them up. Save yelling for true emergencies, like your child running into the street.
Myth #4: Empathic parenting = permissive parenting
This, too, is a myth. You’ll never go wrong when you add a bit of empathy to your parenting style. So often, there are particular reasons that our kids are acting out. When you get under the hood and understand the why behind bad behavior, you often can parent more effectively. It doesn’t mean you’ll become a push over, either! I show my coaching clients how to set up a zone of safety for your kids based on your values and their needs. You’ll also learn about how to use age-appropriate attachment parenting with your kids regardless of their ages!
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Hi, I'm Beth. I help busy moms ditch the overwhelm and gain confidence, so they can enjoy parenting more, yell less, and have peaceful kids and a happy family.